PLUS monthly articles on relationships, trauma and counselling.
Posts Tagged ‘shame’
I don’t know where that came from! Dealing with psychological splits
I don’t know where that came from! Dealing with psychological splits
A number of clients express how they often experience themselves acting in ways that don't feel real or emotions that take over. They describe how they become ‘a crazy person’, angry and destructive, clinging and needy or insecure, when they don’t feel this way most of the time in their lives. They can’t understand how they could behave in these ways and feel terribly ashamed of themselves and the problems it causes in their relationships. They have come to see these reactions as ‘not them’ and the ‘normal’ calmer in control self as who they really are. They may come into therapy looking for a way of getting rid of this part of them, that somehow there may be tools that they can learn to control themselves. The split between these two parts of a person and how that develops in our family of origin, is the focus of this article.
Consequences of family of origin betrayal
The consequences of family of origin betrayal.
This article examines the main consequences of relationship betrayal that we experience growing up. I will define what we mean by relationship betrayal and then talk about five consequences that can happen.
Relationship betrayal happens when our needs, feelings and desires are betrayed by the people we are dependent on or have a significant attachment to. These relationships include those with family and those we rely on through institutions such as school or health. Extensive betrayal is traumatic because we become overwhelmed by the emotional pain and our safety and trust is threatened.
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Dealing with Shame
Shame and Disconnection
Written by Delyse Ledgard
Shame is an intensely uncomfortable feeling that arises as a result of failure. If our failure is met by others with comfort and understanding we can transcend our shame and learn from mistakes and limitations. Otherwise shame gets under our skin and starts to infect our sense of self and our relationship to others. This article discusses the relationship between shame and disconnection as important to our understanding of how shame develops and how we can heal from it. Read the rest of this entry »
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