Moving on from family dysfunction
Moving on from your family dynamics is a lifelong task and the result of family of origin work. The concept of differentiation is central to the ability to live your own life and form healthy adult relationships. In this article I provide a couple of definitions and identify ways you can develop differentiation.
Differentiation is the active, ongoing process of defining self, revealing self, clarifying boundaries, and managing the anxiety that comes from risking either greater intimacy or potential separation.
Murray Bowen defined differentiation as the degree of resilience to the interpersonal contagion of anxiety.
How is Therapy Transformative
So many times people come into therapy wanting to know what happens, how does it work? What are we doing in therapy?;
I think one of the important things we are doing is encouraging people to have a more intimate relationship with themselves. Without that relationship it is very difficult to:
- make decisions,
- create the life we want,
- share ourselves and to love others.
This relationship involves our whole body. We experience life by what flows through our body. It is not just an intellectual knowing, thinking about I am this or that, but taking in the whole of who we are. We self-reveal when we are aware of a flow of emotions, and sensation without being overwhelmed. We can then feel alive with the richness and complexity of our life. We can notice the nuances of our experience and discover the meaning
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