Why do I feel so unsafe when nothing much is happening?
How are we suppose to feel safe in a world full of danger and impermanence? Why is it that some people can breeze through life with confidence and calm, while others are consumed by thoughts of danger and betrayal? Believe it or not, our health, and the quality of our lives, are affected by the degree to which we feel safe. In this article we will explore what is important about feeling safe and how we create that in our lives.
Lets start with our nervous system which is designed to react to danger in order to survive, to connect and form intimate bonds, and to shut down the heat when it all gets too much. Some of the answers to creating our sense of safety lie here. Three main parts of our nervous system work together to help us deal with and make sense of the world around us. When we are in danger and threatened all three parts of our nervous system will come into play.
The consequences of family of origin betrayal.
This article examines the main consequences of relationship betrayal that we experience growing up. I will define what we mean by relationship betrayal and then talk about five consequences that can happen.
Relationship betrayal happens when our needs, feelings and desires are betrayed by the people we are dependent on or have a significant attachment to. These relationships include those with family and those we rely on through institutions such as school or health. Extensive betrayal is traumatic because we become overwhelmed by the emotional pain and our safety and trust is threatened.
How is Therapy Transformative
So many times people come into therapy wanting to know what happens, how does it work? What are we doing in therapy?;
I think one of the important things we are doing is encouraging people to have a more intimate relationship with themselves. Without that relationship it is very difficult to:
- make decisions,
- create the life we want,
- share ourselves and to love others.
This relationship involves our whole body. We experience life by what flows through our body. It is not just an intellectual knowing, thinking about I am this or that, but taking in the whole of who we are. We self-reveal when we are aware of a flow of emotions, and sensation without being overwhelmed. We can then feel alive with the richness and complexity of our life. We can notice the nuances of our experience and discover the meaning
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