PLUS monthly articles on relationships, trauma and counselling.
Posts Tagged ‘dissociation’
The Importance of Being Recognized
The Importance of Being Recognized
This article examines the importance of being recognized to how we express ourselves and whether we experience ourselves as valid or not. We know that when we focus on some aspect of our experience it comes alive with details and nuances we didn’t know were there. Similarly for others to show us recognition communicates we are indeed here, that we exist and allows us to see our experience more fully. For example how many times has someone noticed a gesture or expression that we made just outside our awareness that when it was brought to our attention allowed us to experience ourself in a new way.
Alternatively, when we are not recognized or validated we become at odds with ourselves; there is no feedback that confirms the truth of it. This article will identify how the basic splitting of our experience into good and bad starts with recognition. This is an important process in one’s development for an infant and child to learn who they are in the world.
Creating safety
Why do I feel so unsafe when nothing much is happening?
How are we suppose to feel safe in a world full of danger and impermanence? Why is it that some people can breeze through life with confidence and calm, while others are consumed by thoughts of danger and betrayal? Believe it or not, our health, and the quality of our lives, are affected by the degree to which we feel safe. In this article we will explore what is important about feeling safe and how we create that in our lives.
Lets start with our nervous system which is designed to react to danger in order to survive, to connect and form intimate bonds, and to shut down the heat when it all gets too much. Some of the answers to creating our sense of safety lie here. Three main parts of our nervous system work together to help us deal with and make sense of the world around us. When we are in danger and threatened all three parts of our nervous system will come into play.
I don’t know where that came from! Dealing with psychological splits
I don’t know where that came from! Dealing with psychological splits
A number of clients express how they often experience themselves acting in ways that don't feel real or emotions that take over. They describe how they become ‘a crazy person’, angry and destructive, clinging and needy or insecure, when they don’t feel this way most of the time in their lives. They can’t understand how they could behave in these ways and feel terribly ashamed of themselves and the problems it causes in their relationships. They have come to see these reactions as ‘not them’ and the ‘normal’ calmer in control self as who they really are. They may come into therapy looking for a way of getting rid of this part of them, that somehow there may be tools that they can learn to control themselves. The split between these two parts of a person and how that develops in our family of origin, is the focus of this article.
Consequences of family of origin betrayal
The consequences of family of origin betrayal.
This article examines the main consequences of relationship betrayal that we experience growing up. I will define what we mean by relationship betrayal and then talk about five consequences that can happen.
Relationship betrayal happens when our needs, feelings and desires are betrayed by the people we are dependent on or have a significant attachment to. These relationships include those with family and those we rely on through institutions such as school or health. Extensive betrayal is traumatic because we become overwhelmed by the emotional pain and our safety and trust is threatened.
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