A number of clients tell me how they sometimes experience a part of themselves that takes over and how it is not like them; they don’t feel themselves when this happens. They describe how they become ‘a crazy person’, angry and destructive, clinging and needy or insecure, when they don’t feel that most of the time in their lives. They often can’t understand how they could behave in these ways and feel terribly ashamed of themselves when this happens and the problems it causes in their relationships. They have come to see these reactions as ‘not them’ and the ‘normal’ calmer in control self as who they really are. They may come into therapy looking for a way of getting rid of this part of them, that somehow there may be tools that they can learn to control themselves. The split between these two parts of a person and how that develops in our family of origin, is the focus of this article.
Here Delyse is talking about how we get overwhelmed, what is happening that is causing this. and some of the things we focus on from a body psychotherapy perspective, as a result.
This can be useful if you have just started therapy or you are thinking about it to give you an idea of what to expect.
Video is 11.43mins
How is therapy transformative?
Delyse Sunday, 18th of October 2009 at 03:09:15 AM
How is therapy transformative
So many times people come into therapy wanting to know what happens, how does it work? What are we doing in therapy? I think one of the important things we are doing is encouraging people to have a more intimate relationship with themselves. Without that relationship it is very difficult to make decisions, to create the life we want, to share ourselves and to love others. This relationship involves our whole body. We experience life by what flows through our body. It is not just an intellectual knowing, thinking about I am this or that, but it is taking in the whole of who we are. It is when we experience this flow of emotions, and sensation easily and without being overwhelmed that we feel alive with the richness and complexity of our life. Continue reading How is therapy transformative?
Emotional Release
Delyse Thursday, 1st of October 2009 at 10:05:50 PM
Emotional release
Throughout my training into working with the body and trauma, I have been challenged to look at some of the ways I had been trained in the past. The most obvious is to do with emotions and emotional release. In the early days I was trained in Gestalt and back then pounding pillows and 'big' emotional releases were a sign of having broken through defences and resolved past unfinished business. So letting out your rage towards the parents you imaged on the pillow (with all the abuse and hatred you could muster), was seen as a 'breakthrough' and 'letting go' of this pain. I haven't worked with anyone in this way for many years but the notion that we have to have a 'big' cathartic release to be doing our work is still a popular idea.
Dealing with shame is a difficult and delicate process. Paradoxically in order to heal our shame we need to expose it. Everyone to some degree experiences shame. When the world fails to fulfill our every desire shame develops as a result of interpersonal disconnection. At these times we are exposed, cut off and separated by the responses to our innocent requests. These responses range from confusion and misunderstanding to anger, judgment and humiliation. This leaves us feeling that what we want is unwelcome and disgusting. We develop a connection to our desires and ultimately ourselves as shameful. As a result of our shame, and in an effort to prevent our self from experiencing the shame, we disown these aspects of ourselves.
Sunday, 27th of June 2010 at 06:29:38 AM